STEP 2: “WE CAME TO BELIEVE THAT A POWER GREATER THAN OURSELVES COULD RESTORE US TO SANITY.”
Krokodil, exceptionably more potent than morphine and used variably where the demand for heroin is high, yet the availability is scarce. Krokodil is an opioid chemically related to codeine having properties whose affects cause calming, moderate to tranquilizing nervousness or excitement while producing dismissed sensation to pain without loss of consciousness.
Consequently, having intravenously injected Krokodil, one ultimately develops gangrene, (black, grey and green discoloration of the skin) beginning with skin ulcerations and infections; hence the name, “Krokodil” or “Russian Magic” because of the short-term euphoric affects.
The danger of this drug is its codeine derivative; “chlorocodide”(or Krokodil) is a derivative of “desomorphine.” Hence, homemade drug chemists cook it in the form of the illicit drug “meth” (methamphetamine) utilizing red phosphorus (from the head of matches) paint thinner, hydrochoride acid, gasoline, lighter fluid and iodine with a final ingredient of codeine. Once the toxic chemicals are cooked off, the result (desomorphine) is very much like heroin.”(https://www.drugs.com/illicit/krokodil.html).
ILLICIT ”INTRAVENOUS” DRUG USE, (KROKODIL, HEROIN, ETC.)(https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/drug-addiction/signs-drug-addiction/)
Then, there is Methamphetamine, (Meth) as demonstrated below. Meth has two different effects; short-term and long-term. The effects include increased insomnia and physiological movements; depressed appetite; elevated breathing, escalated heart rate, blood pressure and temperature.
Meth’s long-term affects include anxiousness, bewilderment,sleeplessness, mood swings, explosive behavior, delusions, hallucinations, paranoia, unrelenting dental challenges (“meth mouth”), blistering skin sores from continuous scratching, and eventual weight loss.
METHAMPHETAMINE; “METH” (STREET NAME)
Next, “Marijuana Use Disorders” which is frequently correlated with drug dependence—in the sense that withdrawal symptoms are experienced when NOT under the influence of marijuana. Marijuana users continually experience insomnia, crankiness, depressed hunger, munchies, restiveness, and/or coupled with varied physical agitates that show its ugly head in the first week of abstinence and can last for a period of up to 2 weeks.
Fentanyl is a powerful man-made opioid that is comparable to morphine but is 50 to 100 times increased in concentration. Fentanyl also packaged and sold as a prescription drug that is synthetic and used illegally. Like morphine, fentanyl is a medicine that is typically used to medicate patients with debilitating pain and are physically amenable to other opioids (which occurs when increased dosages and frequent use are required to obtain desired effects).
Recent occurrences of overdoses are attributed to illegally used fentanyl pioneered in labs. This man-made fentanyl is marketed in powder form, depressed on “blotter paper,” serried in “eye droppers” and “nasal sprays,” or transformed into pill substitutes that appear in description as other prescription opioids.
Often fentanyl is mixed with other illicit drugs such as methamphetamines, cocaine, MDMA (ecstasy) and heroin. The product containing fentanyl requires a minimal amount to obtain the same euphoric outcome for a less money. Consequently, when fentanyl is the single most dangerous additive (made by man) into other illicit or prescription drugs, it leads to perilous outcomes because of intolerance. In the United States, synthetic opioids are the foremost cause of drug overdose deaths in 2020.
While the above drugs are among the MOST LEADING CAUSES to OVERDOSE and DEATH, even the increased and ONGOING CONSUMPTION of MARIJUANA can lead to FATAL accidents! What you don’t know and what a TWELVE STEP PROGRAM won’t teach you is ”THE PRINCE OF THE AIR” is in control of your life! Consequently, this is what happens when we follow the course laid out by the world! “THE COURSE OF THIS WORLD” is defined by the PRINCE OF THE AIR; SATAN!” I know it’s another one of those moments, “WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT WILLIS?”
You believe in vampires, walking dead, horoscopes, witchcraft, lottery, ghosts, paranormal, praying to statues, praying to dead prophets, praying to crosses and beads, praying to Mary, (Mother of Jesus) praying to Saints, even creating Saints, you’ve done it all! AND YET, YOU’RE STILL ADDICTED!!! You refuse to believe in what is TRUE! A TWELVE STEP PROGRAM teaches you that you ABSOLUTELY MUST have a GOD of YOUR understanding! My only goal is to teach you a path to LIBERTY! THIS IS NOT ABOUT RELIGION . . . IT’S ABOUT RELATIONSHIP!
Only a RELATIONSHIP with “GOD” can break the CHAINS of ADDICTION!!!
If you want to survive this YOU’VE GOT TO MAKE A DECISION RIGHT HERE AND NOW . . .IS THERE A GOD OR NOT? If you believe there is a GOD, than also believe that HE is living and HE SPEAKS! One of the ways HE speaks is through HIS written WORD; THE HOLY BIBLE. Its a book HE left for us as a BLUEPRINT on LIFE! In HIS book, GOD tells us about the EXISTENCE of SATAN, ”THE PRINCE OF POWER OF THE AIR.”
“And you were dead in your trespasses and sins, in which you formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience. Among them we too all formerly lived in the lusts of our flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, even as the rest. But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which HE LOVED US, even WHEN WE WERE DEAD in our TRANSGRESSIONS, made US ALIVE TOGETHER with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up with Him, (GOD) and seated us with Him (GOD) in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come He (GOD) might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.” (EPHESIANS 2:1-9)(Bold added)(CAPS added)(Parenthesis added)
When you follow the path of Satan, you TOO are SPIRITUALLY DEAD and following the course of this world. The world teaches you, it’s o.k. to get high, it’s o.k. to smoke marijuana; it’s a healing drug. It’s o.k. to drink wine; a glass of wine a day, it’s good for you! Then “prince of the power of the air” adds to it and says, try some heroin . . . it won’t hurt you! It will make you feel good and forget all about your pain. All your friends are all doing it . . . You’re a punk if you don’t try it! Once you no longer feel numb from the heroin and you can’t get it, “the prince of the power of the air” tells you to try some fentanyl. This one will keep you high for sure and take ALL your pain away! What you don’t realize is the forms that “the prince of the power of the air” comes in and how he uses people in your life; the very people you look up to and trust; family members and friends, leaders, coaches, Priests, Pastors, Police; it has happened! Satan USES any person, anywhere, at anytime and HE WILL USE ANY type of SIN . . . IT ALL LEADS TO A WAY OF ESCAPE . . . DRUG ADDICTION is ONLY one path to JAILS, INSTITUTIONS AND/OR DEATH!
SATAN used the CATHOLIC PRIEST and now the CHURCH is a PART of a Sex-Abuse Scandal
Satan DOES NOT discriminate; he will even use your Mother! (In fact, in my NEXT POST, I am going to elaborate on SATAN; DON’T MISS IT!) But for now, we are going to focus on RESTORATION!
STEP 2: WE CAME TO BELIEVE THAT A POWER GREATER THAN OURSELVES COULD RESTORE US TO SANITY.
Let us begin by talking about “RESTORATION” of “SANITY” inside the SECOND STEP.
“For the time will come when they will NOT endure SOUND DOCTRINE; but wanting to have their EARS TICKLED, they will accumulate for THEMSELVES in accordance to their OWN DESIRES, and will TURN AWAY their ears from the TRUTH and will TURN ASIDE to myths. But you, be SOBER in ALL things, ENDURE HARDSHIP, DO the WORK of an EVANGELIST, fulfill your ministry.” (2 Timothy 4:3-5)
FIRST, I DID NOT COME TO TICKLE YOUR EARS! This is a labor of love! A love for you and a reverent love to my Lord and Savior; Jesus the Christ! A love to bring good news to the afflicted! A love for the broken-hearted, and a PROCLOMATION to SET the CAPTIVES FREE!!!
In lieu of this charge, (“Set the Captives free”) the focus will perpetually be a call to LIBERTY; liberty THAT IS ONLY FOUND in God! My God is Christ Jesus! No longer will you condition yourself to exploit prescription or illicit drugs! No longer will you necessitate your mind or body to consume illicit chemicals, drugs, or even alcohol to INEFFECTIVELY cope with your EMOTIONS! Alcohol/Narcotics Anonymous will teach you “IT IS A PROCESS!” God will teach you, “BY FAITH, YOU ARE HEALED!!!”
“And when Jesus entered Capernaum, a centurion came to Him, imploring Him, and saying, “Lord, my servant is lying paralyzed at home, fearfully tormented.” Jesus said to him, “I will come and heal him.” But the centurion said, “Lord, I AM NOT WORTHY for You to come under my roof, but just say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I also am a man under authority, with soldiers under me; and I say to this one, ‘Go!’ and he goes, and to another, ‘Come!’ and he comes, and to my slave, ‘Do this!’ and he does it.” Now when Jesus heard this, He marveled and said to those who were following, “Truly I say to you, I have NOT found such GREAT FAITH with anyone in Israel. . . And Jesus said to the centurion, “Go; IT SHALL BE DONE for YOU as YOU have BELIEVED.” And the SERVANT was HEALED that very MOMENT. (Matthew 8:5-11, 13)(BOLD added)(CAPS added)
JESUS DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE!!! IT DOES NOT MATTER WHO YOU ARE OR WHAT YOU’VE DONE . . . JESUS LOVES YOU ANYWAY!!!
Two reasons I shared my story in the “Water Walker” Post; 1) So you would give yourself PERMISSION to let go of your PAIN ; any mental or emotional distress or form of suffering, without worrying about, “What do people think about you? ” and 2) To the fullest extent, surrender your PAIN to GOD! Both require you to TALK about it! TELL SOMEBODY! BOAST IN YOUR INFIRMITIES (WEAKNESSES) BECAUSE YOUR BEST KEPT SECRETS WILL GET YOU HIGH AND LEAD TO DEATH!
Paul the Apostle wrote, “. . . on my own behalf I will not boast, except in regard to my WEAKNESSES.” (2 Corinthians 12:5)(CAPS added)
INDISPENSABLY, RELINQUISH EVERY FEAR, EVERY HURTFUL AND DEPRESSING MEMORY, EVERY THOUGHT, EVERY PAIN, EVERY ANXIETY, EVERY LOSS, EVERY FEELING OF HATE TOWARDS EVERY EVILDOER IN YOUR LIFE! LET IT GO!!! GOD’S GRACE IS SUFFICIENT!!! YOU CAN’T HANDLE IT! IN YOUR BEST EFFORTS, THE VERY THOUGHT OF IT MADE YOU GET HIGH AND IS KEEPING YOU ADDICTED! YOU MUST LET IT GO! YOU’RE NOT THE FIRST AND YOU WON’T BE THE LAST, BUT YOU CAN MAKE IT! THIS IS YOUR LAST TIME! SURRENDER!!! MLS
YOUR ONLY QUESTION SHOULD BE, ”HOW?” ”HOW DO I DO THIS?”
The ultimate response is “forgiveness!” But, forgiveness is a PROCESS and often times people counsel you on forgiveness and don’t understand you might still be living with your abuser! You might have had children by your rapist! You might have even married your rapist! You might be caught up in sex trafficking! You might be caught in prostitution! You may even be a Pimp! You might even be a murderer! You may be in bondage in a domestically violent relationship holding you and keeping you in bondage, but I PROMISE YOU THERE IS A WAY OUT! The answers to your “HOW” is through “THE GRACE OF GOD, only found in JESUS THE CHRIST!” HIS grace is SUFFICIENT!!!
“And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)
This is Paul, the Apostle’s testimony. If you READ my FIRST POST, you learned Paul, in his former life was named Saul who was complicit in the murder of Christians. Paul is telling you that GOD’s GRACE was and is SUFFICIENT for his violent past. But it wasn’t until Saul was confronted by the Holy Spirit, (which is what is happening at this very moment in your life) that he surrendered! The moment Saul said “I Can’t,” God stepped in and said, “I CAN!”
REMBER AND APPLY THIS TO YOUR LIFE! : “I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH HIM WHO STRENGTHENS ME.” (Philippians 4:13)(CAPS added)
ADDICTION STARTS IN THE HOME!!! If you want restoration, there are some basics you have got to LIVE! The Twelve Steps won’t teach you POWER because it’s not written in the Book! The Twelve Steps will only teach you that you are “POWERLESS!”
But I am teaching you “POWER,” because if you made it to the “SECOND STEP” you realized that by now YOU CANT! . . . BUT HE (GOD) CAN!!! If you understand these three things, you will be well on your way
Let go of your friends! Change people, places and things! “Stop regarding man, whose breath of life is in his nostrils; For why should he be esteemed?” (Isaiah 2:22)
Pray to God! The Twelve Step Programs encourage you to find a ”God of your understanding!” You need a relationship with God and the God of my understanding says to me, “If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.” (John 15:7)
“Abide” means to remain . . . Not to depart . . . Continue to be. . . To last . . . To endure!
Surrender means, “Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” (James 4:7) There are so many treatment centers in this post and online. Please click on one of the links and surrender!
PRAY . . . DON’T PICK UP! . . . GO TO MEETINGS . . . CALL YOUR SPONSOR . . . READ YOUR LITERATURE . . . READ THE BIBLE!
LET’S BEGIN WITH “NO MORE EXCUSES!” If you read my first post, you realize that there is nothing under the sun that I have NOT experienced! If it’s SHAME and GUILT that is keeping you in your addiction, let’s just take that excuse off the table now!
“NO MORE EXCUSES”— #1
For example, I was held hostage in my marriage. . . literally! Before I even married the man, he was abusive! He was a stalker and determined to have his way! I remember one experience, after I had two of my children; they were at the age of two and four. I had obtained an apartment and was raising my children as a single parent. He, (my ex-husband) stalked me and found out where I lived. He came over to my apartment and knocked on the door. When I did not answer, he beat the doorknob off of the door with a baseball bat! He came charging into my apartment thinking some man was there. I was in my bedroom with the air conditioner on, taking a nap with my young children. I didn’t even hear him break in because the air conditioner was so loud. He said, ”He thought something had happened to me.” Really??? Why not call the police?
That was a warning sign . . . abuse was yet to come! Pay attention to the warning signs! GET OUT!!! God’s grace IS sufficient!
“NO MORE EXCUSES” —#2
Another instance, when I lived on the other side of town, and my ex-husband found out where I was living, (because he stalked me again) he came over for seeking drug money. At the time, I was not using drugs, but I moved because this man, (my ex-husband) was like a leach! He worked in the same place I worked , (in the same department). He made more money than I made! He knew my pay-day. I was a Single Parent with two children by this time and he took absolutely NO financial responsibility; never even bought a pamper or bottle of milk! I was so naive; giving him money because I thought his Father needed it for his dialysis or kidney medication. He used to drain me dry! If you’re in a domestic violence relationship and your significant other or husband is controlling or manipulating you with money, God’s grace is still sufficient! God is the resource; you DON’T need that significant other or the money! Let them have it and LEAVE—GOD will provide! GOD IS THE RESOURCE!
“NO MORE EXCUSES” — #3
Meanwhile, he (my ex-husband) found my apartment again and he got in, once again, and he beat me because his Son did not have any pampers! Keep in mind, he had taken all of my money, (again) manipulating me with the sick Dad; kidney disease story, (needing medication). Consequently , I had to make papers out of towels until I got my next paycheck. Until this day, he has NEVER contributed to my Son financially. He claims he has paid child support, (for my oldest children) but I have never received it. I don’t know what system he paid into, or in what Country! Never the less, he had the audacity to beat me when he was taking every hard earned dollar I had for my children.
Pay attention to the pattern of abuse; patterns of lies, patterns of drug seeking manipulation, etc. Get out of that relationship!!! GOD will PROVIDE!
“NO MORE EXCUSES” —#4
I moved to yet another apartment on the opposite side of town, once again, he was seeking drug money. Keep in mind, I never gave this man my address. Clearly he was stalking me! He found out where I lived, came over to beat me and take the money from me. It was the first time I fought him back. Even though I felt empowered for the first time in my life in that relationship with him, (because I fought him back) it did not stop him from stealing my money.
However, it did give him something to think about because for the first time, he was wearing dark glasses because I had blackened his eye. If you are in this type of relationship, wake up—IT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE! IT WILL ESCALATE!!! If you are co-dependent and you can’t find it in yourself to let go, know this . . . Tomorrow is not promised to you and if this person you’re with gets angry enough, death will come sooner than you anticipated because ABUSERS have NO BOUNDARIES! The ONLY real HOPE is GOD! TELL SOMEBODY YOU NEED HELP!
“NO MORE EXCUSES” – #5
Another time, I was downtown driving in my car, heading home from work. I had just picked up my tax-refund. I don’t remember how my ex-husband knew I had the check, but he literally chased me on foot, from block to block, (in the streets, through traffic lights, around corners) as I was driving my car. When I got to one specific stop light, he stole my purse out of the car because I had my window down. I had not realized that he literally caught up with me on foot. He took my entire income tax refund and went and got high with my money! That money was for furniture! We had none in our new apartment. I had no food, absolutely nothing for my children! I called his Mother and told her what he had done! I called the police! I drove to the police station; they did absolutely NOTHING! This man was a maniac!
“NO MORE EXCUSES” — #6
My ex-husband, (in my marriage) took me down on the block to sell my body! I got picked up by an undercover Police Officer. I did not know initially, because the Officer was waiting for me to solicit him for money; but because I did not, he knew I was inexperienced and NOT a prostitute. So he took me to the other side of town, talked to me in the car, and had his dispatch look up my information. Because I DID NOT have a police record, he sat and talked to me about my choice to be on a corner at night; getting picked up by a stranger.
I told him, “My husband spent all of our money getting high and I needed pampers and food for my babies.” My children were NOT infants at the time, so my dishonesty was intended to manipulate my way out of jail. Again, because the Officer could not find a record on me, he said to me, “You had better tell me the truth!” I told him, “I had NEVER been locked up before; I have never been to jail and I don’t have a record!
However, I solicited myself because my husband made me do it!” I was afraid to tell the Officer because I knew if the Officer were to tell my husband, I would get beat again. I was more terrified of the beatings than prison. However, I wasn’t willing to abandon my children with my ex-husband in fear of him escalating to abusing them as well.
Meanwhile, the Officer said to me, “Never, ever get in a car with a stranger and let him take you away from your destination. I knew you did NOT have experience at prostitution because you WOULD NOT solicit me for money.” As a result, the Officer took me to my house. He counseled me all the way home. He told me, “YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP! THIS MAN DOESN’T LOVE YOU! HE IS USING YOU! WHAT KIND OF MAN WOULD PUT HIS WIFE ON A CORNER TO PROSTITUTE??? DRUGS OR NOT – HE IS NOT A MAN!” I knew the Officer was correct, but what the Officer neglected to tell me was, “HOW TO GET OUT!” WHERE DO I GO???God’s grace is sufficient! Tell somebody you need help! There are Domestic Violence Shelters everywhere! Tell your Pastor! Tell your Teacher! Tell your Neighbor! Tell the Cashier at a local store! Tell me! You can respond to the posts at anytime!
“NO MORE EXCUSES —#7”
The abuse escalated along with the addiction. My ex-husband had stollen a gun from his Aunt. He and his friend were robbing drug addicts all over the city. He made me drive the car like, “Bonnie and Clyde” and park blocks away. Consequently, I never participated in any of what my ex-husband and his friend were actually doing. I did not see what they did or who they robbed. I only obeyed what he told me to do.
Ergo, our experience was like the movie, The Wire. My ex-husband was like the deceased actor, Mr. Michael K. William’s character, “Omar Little.” The difference in Mr. Williams’ character and my ex-husband’s character was, Mr. Williams was ACTING and projecting a “stick-up man’s” behavior. But my ex-husband WAS the real “STICK-UP MAN!” He was so out of his mind, he went and robbed the drug dealers on multiple occasions!
As a consequence of my ex-husband robbing the drug dealers, they (the dealers) kidnapped me! I was in a park, somehow, the dealers recognized the car because (the car had a bad muffler). My ex-husband and his friend had put me out of the car near a park. They were going off the rob the stash house. They pulled off and left me there. I was surrounded by instantly by twelve men with baseball bats. They abducted me and took me into a nearby house, blindfolded. In that house, they pistol whipped me with a gun and tied me up, intending to rape me.
Needless to say, I made it out through the grace of God! His grace is sufficient! On the other hand, on a later occasion, my ex-husband got shot nine (9) times by those very same drug dealers!!!
I GET IT!!! YOU CAN’T FIGURE A WAY OUT! NO MORE EXCUSES! YOU MAY BE IN THIS TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP . . . GET OUT!!! CALL THE POLICE! FLAG DOWN A POLICE! FALL OUT IN FRONT OF A POLICE! CALL FROM THE BATHROOM! IT IS IMPORTANT THAT YOU DO SOMETHING EXTREME TO THE GET THE ATTENTION OF AN INNOCENT BY-STANDER TO GET THE ABUSER TO RUN AWAY . . . GET OUT ANY MEANS NECESSARY!!!
I stayed in the relationship because I felt trapped. My Mother wouldn’t help me! My Father was dead! When I told the Pastor, “My husband is beating me,” the Pastor asked me, “What are you doing wrong?” I immediately left that church and found a NEW church! The abuse escalated because I STAYED in the relationship.
I called the police! When they came to the door, blood was dripping down my head! My ex-husband told the Officer, there was nothing going on, we just had a little “disagreement.” The officer made me leave. But, like you, I could NOT go because my children were there and I did not want him to abuse my children. So I stayed in the relationship in fear of him escalating and harming my children. NO MATTER THE REASON . . . GET OUT!!!
His (God’s) grace is sufficient! You don’t NEED perfection to pray to GOD! He will meet you right where you are in your sin!
“. . . God is not one to show partiality. . .”(Act 10:34)
Remember, I told you to “stop regarding man, whose breath of life is in his nostrils; For why should he be esteemed? (Isaiah 2:22, New American Standard Bible) If people are telling you you CAN’T DO IT; GET AWAY FROM THOSE PEOPLE!!! No longer can you have those types of people in your life because your future depends on it!
You’re trapped in sex-trafficking or prostitution. . . PRAY! God will set you free! The key is, you must have a “mustard seed” of faith! Don’t believe me?
“But the high priest rose up, along with all his associates (that is the sect of the Sadducees), and they were filled with jealousy. They laid hands on the apostles and put them in a public jail. But during the night an angel of the Lord opened the gates of the prison, and taking them out he said, “Go, stand and speak to the people in the temple the whole message of this Life.” (Acts 5:17-20)
As an example, the Apostles had been imprisoned by the Sadducees (church sect; church group) because of jealousy. In the middle of the night the LORD opened the prison cell and let them out!!! It was the faith of the Apostles that caused them to be set free. Through the power of God, the Apostles went on preaching inside the church. They didn’t care what man said; they believed in God!
Next, if you want continuous POWER you have to learn to abide (wait for, endure, remain stable) in God. Circumstances may NOT change, but you have to change your PERCEPTION! When they DON’T immediately change, it does NOT mean God can’t or won’t DO IT! He can and HE WILL! His thoughts are not your thoughts and His ways are NOT your ways! But, your obedience will lend you strength to ask more and more because you WILL see the results of your obedience. He will give you WHATEVER you wish when you ABIDE in GOD! This too is a PROCESS; consequently your answered prayer is contingent on you abiding in God.
Again, by now, you should have figured out that the audience I’m targeting is “Who so ever may; let him come!” Since you read the last post, ( “He Who Has Begun A Great Work In You,”) you have your first day clean and sober under you belt! Yes! Hallelujah! This is where the work begins; you have to implement your plan of attack. (IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THE FIRST POST; STOP, GO BACK TO THE FIRST STEP; THE LAST POST—BEGIN THERE!).
Meanwhile, you have to NOT pick up your drug of choice, pray, go to Meetings, get a Sponsor, and read your literature. If you feel and think the way I was thinking my first day clean, you’re feeling like . . . Dah! I don’t know!
My response to you is . . . Welcome! This is a new territory and you have NO experience on staying drug free. It’s like that giraffe story they tell you about in N.A.—LOL! Wait, I forgot, I’m delivered now . . . The Christian version is “There’s nothing new under the sun!” (Just having a little fun!)
So here’s what you have to do. . . In the Second Step, there is a VOID; an empty space. That space was filled with getting and using and finding means to get more. Now that the drug of choice is gone, what do you do??? THIS IS SO SERIOUS . . . You have to FILL THE VOID! Chase the meetings like you chased the drug. Listen to the stories of other people in the Meetings. Listen for similarities. Women stick with the women; men stick with the men. Stay away from relationships!!! You hardly know who you are, much less trying to take on someone else’s baggage. Don’t substitute one drug for another. That means, don’t go get a drink of alcohol because you’re now drug free, because when you do, you have RELAPSED. . . ALCOHOL IS A DRUG!!! Don’t substitute sex for a drug! Don’t substitute eating for a drug! Don’t substitute shopping for a drug! Don’t substitute working for a drug!
But DO substitute your time, your emptiness, your loneliness, your abandonment, your broken up relationships . . . DO SUBSTITUTE whatever you were doing for a closer walk with God. Now is the time . . .
Let me talk about me because you seem to like that topic. I remember being in treatment and the Doctors and the Counselors insisted that I drink methadone. They have some kind of scientific measurement score where they compare your street value of the drug of your choice, your weight, and the absorption rate of the methadone and determine a medical dose for you to NO longer crave your drug of choice. Well I wasn’t having it! They wanted to give me 50 or more mg of methadone. I insisted on the lowest dose I could take. Imagine the doctors and my Counselor fighting over what I’m going to put in my body? Seriously! It’s like governmental over reach!
Meanwhile, I insisted on 20mg or nothing! They let me have my way. So, after I delivered, I told them I wanted to detox. They were really determined to keep me on methadone. I went toe to toe with them again and again! I won because I told them, “Either you detox me or I will!”
So, here I am, all big and bad and they started the detox. I was cool, no withdrawal, no physical pain. In fact, I had more pain when I went into treatment, detoxing off of the heroin because they only gave me 20 mg, (based on my wishes). Consequently, I was falling out in group therapy; withdrawing for about 17 days, (i.e. aching, dehydrated, exhausted from chasing and using, pregnant, malnourished, beaten, battered and bruised). The good part was the Substance Abuse Treatment Facility was medicating the physical aspect; anxiety medication, pregnancy vitamins, iron, etc. So, detoxing from methadone was a piece of cake!
It was the mental pain of anticipating the withdrawal that I was fearful of when I got down to no methadone. But I learned a few tricks. I’m going to bless you and tell you how to get through it. . . Eat bread! Yeah! Especially at night when you can’t sleep, eat bread! It will put you to sleep. It’s like a cork . . . When your body is going through physical withdrawal, one of the most horrible experiences is the diarrhea! You can live with a lack of appetite, and sleeplessness because the treatment facility will give you liquids to prevent dehydration.
However, the more liquids and hydration you get can often exacerbates the diarrhea, (it will run right through you just like a faucet). The bread fills your stomach; even if you just eat little bites at a time. Only through the withdrawal will the bread substitute the emptiness in your stomach. The bread will also cause you to sleep. Once you get a little bit more sleep, day after day, you begin to feel stronger. While you’re getting stronger, your confidence begins to grow on making it through another day clean and sober. So, while you’re feeling a little more assurance, you absolutely must fill the void of the substance you were chasing! That means, you were chasing drugs all day . . . Now you need to chase meetings all day! You absolutely must fill the void to STAY ABSTINENT!
For example, I used to go get medicated by 10am. In the morning with methadone. Instead of walking over to the building, I used to hang out with my Counselor at that time. She would talk to me and pass the time away. Once I got through that window of time the first day, it was all she wrote! I was well on my way! I figured out that if I do some thing to take my mind off of getting and using, I wouldn’t think about it and minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, I got ONE DAY AT A TIME! I remember when I did’t think I could do 28 seconds without getting high much less have 28 years of abstinence. Hallelujah!
But know this, it’s not a “ME THING.” It’s a “WE THING!” YOU CAN’T DO THIS ALONE!!! You are going to experience all kinds of emotions you never felt before because the drug is now removed. You’re going to have all kinds of thoughts that will flood your mind; guilt, shame, depression, anxiety, hopelessness, fear, confused, (the list goes on and on) which is why you NOW need to work on your relationship with God. Baby steps!
The “Second Step” is the point where Satan thinks he’s won the fight! He’s been doing pushups and while you’re feeling weak mentally, physically and spiritually, he’s ready to pounce on you like a wild buffalo in dessert searching for the only blade of grass in a 10,000 mile radius. Surely he (Satan) thinks he’s got the best of you! (YOU WILL LEARN MORE ABOUT SATAN IN THE NEXT POST).
But by the grace of GOD, He will infuse POWER moment by moment! Whether you realize it or NOT, that’s how you got to this point! God has been INFUSING POWER into you! MOST OF ALL . . . PRAY, GO TO A MEETING, DON’T PICK UP, GET A SPONSOR, READ YOUR LITERATURE, and remember. . . ASK FOR SOME HELP!!! They would tell you to take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth!
I’M TELLING YOU TO RAISE YOUR HAND AT THAT MEETING AND BOAST IN YOUR WEAKNESSES! YOUR HELP IS ON THE WAY!
“And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)
NO MORE SHAME AND GUILT!!! STOP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE SAY OR WILL SAY!!! DON’T WORRY ABOUT WHAT YOUR FAMILY HAS SAID OR DONE! DON’T WORRY ABOUT THE CHURCH! YOU TOO CAN BE JUSTIFIED IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST!!!
GOD SAYS THIS TO THE CHURCH . . .
“For what responsibility of mine is it to pass judgment upon those who are outside [the Church]? Indeed, those who are outside will God judge. Expel at once the pernicious person from among yourselves.” (1 Corinthians 5:12-13)
THIS IS WHAT GOD HAS TO SAY TO THOSE INSIDE THE CHURCH . . .
“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.” (1 Corinthians 6:9-11)
You still have an opportunity to know Jesus . . . The reality is salvation is the key! Only by His grace can you be saved! Begin by confessing what ever you want to God and ask for forgiveness. God’s Son, Jesus, died on the cross for your sins and mine! If you want to be saved, it only takes three simple steps; 1) believe Jesus died, 2) believe Jesus was buried, and 3) believe Jesus rose from the dead! Confess it with your mouth and believe it in your heart! Welcome to the family!
You need fellowship . . . talk to people who know Jesus too! Talk about His book, the Holy Bible and don’t be afraid to ask questions! Bibles are online and free to study! It’s important that you are under sound leadership . . . People who will teach you God’s truth ONLY! I know how hard it is for you to go to church, but ”church” are people and NOT a building! Get to know God’s people! Ask God to lead you to HIM and to people like HIM that HE wants in your life!
God bless . . . you are well on your way . . . one day at a time! Give yourself a break and leave EVERYTHING into to the hands of God!